A Little Girl's Musings..
jamiethegreat.esmegarcia.easyjournal.com
August 2005
SuMoTuWeThFrSa
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031   

Powered by Easyjournal
 
22 August 2005
A Prayer of St. Nikolai of Ochrid
Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Enemies have driven me into Thy embrace more than friends have.

Friends have bound me to earth, enemies have loosed me from earth and have demolished all my aspirations in the world.

Enemies have made me a stranger in worldly realms and an extraneous inhabitant of the world.

Just as a hunted animal finds safer shelter than an unhunted animal does, so have I, persecuted by enemies, found the safest sanctuary, having ensconced myself beneath Thy tabernacle, where neither friends nor enemies can slay my soul.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

They, rather than I, have confessed my sins before the world.

They have punished me, whenever I have hesitated to punish myself.

They have tormented me, whenever I have tried to flee torments.

They have scolded me, whenever I have flattered myself They have spat upon me, whenever I have filled myself with arrogance.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Whenever I have made myself wise, they have called me foolish.

Whenever I have made myself mighty, they have mocked me as though I were a dwarf.

Whenever I have wanted to lead people, they have shoved me into the background.

Whenever I have rushed to enrich myself, they have prevented me with an iron hand.

Whenever I thought that I would sleep peacefully, they have wakened me from sleep.

Whenever I have tried to build a home for a long and tranquil life,they have demolished it and driven me out.

Truly, enemies have cut me loose from the world and have stretched out my hands to the hem of Thy garment.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Bless them and multiply them; multiply them and make them even more bitterly against me:

so that my fleeing to Thee may have no return;

so that all hope in men may be scattered like cobwebs;

so that absolute serenity may begin to reign in my soul;

so that my heart may become the grave of my two evil twins: arrogance and anger;

so that I might amass all my treasure in heaven;

ah, so that I may for once be freed from self deception, which has entangled me in the dreadful web of illusory life.

Enemies have taught me to know what hardly anyone knows, that a person has no enemies in the world except himself.

One hates his enemies only when he fails to realize that they are not enemies, but cruel friends.

It is truly difficult for me to say who has done me more good and who has done me more evil in the world: friends or enemies.

Therefore bless, O Lord, both my friends and my enemies.

A slave curses enemies, for he does not understand.

But a son blesses them, for he understands. For a son knows that his enemies cannot touch his life. Therefore he freely steps among them and prays to God for them.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Amen
17 August 2005
No, I don't cry on the outside anymore..



Kelly Clarkson - Behind These Hazel Eyes

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Check out the music video..
2 August 2005
NDP 2005 Theme Song
Reach Out For the Skies

Composed by: Elaine Chan
Lyrics by: Selena Tan
Arranged by: Joshua Wan




At a time when hope was low
The journey seems unsure
But through it all
We've kept the flame alive
Now standing proud and tall
Our spirit strong and free
Building on hopes and dreams
It's here we want to be

Chorus:
Let's reach out for the skies
With wings we soar up high
Our dreams we'll all achieve
We'll make our destiny
Let's reach out for the skies
With wings we soar up high
Our dreams we'll all achieve
Let's soar and reach for the skies

When I think about my dreams
The future it can be
The time has come for me
To strive and to achieve
With hopes within our hearts
As one hand in hand
For family and our friends
Let's do the best we can

Chorus:
Let's reach out for the skies
With wings we soar up high
Our dreams we'll all achieve
We'll make our destiny
Let's reach out for the skies
With wings we soar up high
Our dreams we'll all achieve
Let's soar and reach for the skies
Our dreams we'll all achieve
Let's soar and reach for the skies
We can touch the skies

Click here to see the video and learn how to do the dance! =)
7 July 2005
Breaking Down
Can my brain get any more tired-er den this?

Lemme see what i had this week..

Monday: Carried out my lesson plan at my attachment, DLE test
Tuesday: FM and CD 2.1 test
Wednesday: MAYC Presentation
Thursay: Busy preparing all the things to hand up tml
Friday: FP routine care report, lesson plan evaluation, 3 lesson plans

Next week's supposed to be term break.. but i gotta go back to school everyday and still gotta go for attachment to carry out more lesson plans.. i'm so tired.. sigh..

Love you too darling..
2 July 2005
Dream a Little Dream of Me
Dream a little dream of me

Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"
Birds singin' in the sycamore tree
Dream a little dream of me

Say nighty-night and kiss me
Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me
While I'm alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger till dawn dear
Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger till dawn dear
Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries far behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me
1 July 2005
Photos
Just taking a break from studying and doing project.. so here are some photos that i've been taking for the past few months..! =)



This is my poodle, gary..! he was lying on my sister's lap..



Me and my best friend.. ally..! at pasir ris park for con1 retreat..



Roy and me.. same place.. same event..



Snoopy.. my bear-dog.. he looks a lil scruffy here tho.. think he just went digging..



My sis and me.. look at her making silly faces.. mommy got cut off halfway.. heh..



Family pic during mom's birthday.. that's cinli my cousin and anna.. the goon.. (my housekeeper)



Sneaked this shot during lecture i think.. jen, pearlyn (with her goggles) and me..!



haha.. and here's gary again..


oh btw.. after 4 long years.. my braces are finally gone..! woohoo..! =)
27 June 2005
Memories Re-lived
Whenever mommy tells me about my younger days (and it's pretty often cos i always tell her about my experiences at the childcare).. she never fails to bring up the topic of me crying every single morning.. According to her, i was apparently a very sweet child.. those kind that teachers love to pamper and give extra attention to..

At this point.. my sister always go "sigh.. den what happened to you now?" but we shall not dwell on that comment.. *stick out tongue at my sister* btw my sister is a very nice, sweet, pretty girl. i'm so lucky to haf her.

Anyway.. mommy said that i cried every single morning when she brought me to YWCA (my childcare from N1 to K1) and would just sit on the steps.. crying and hugging her.. asking her not to leave me alone.. i cried so pitifully (or perhaps cos she loved me so much).. that everytime i cried.. my mommy would cry too.. and she wouldn't leave me until my teachers had to ask her to leave or i wouldn't stop crying.. cos about half an hour after she leaves.. i'll be back to myself and happily playing with my friends..

I always laugh when mommy tells me this.. cos i just dun understand how she can cry together with me.. i mean.. i was just crying for attention.. i initially thought mommy was too emotional when i heard the 'story' but today.. i realised that there's more to it then what i thought..

Being a monday.. i went for attachment at my childcare again.. as my centre is trying to prevent the spread of Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease (HFMD).. my 2year olds were separated into 2 groups.. those who have had HFMD before and those who haven't.. my little girl, shirlene.. who is also my favourite.. is in the latter group.. but she wasn't there when i arrived at the centre.. so i joined the former group taking care of my cuties, rayner and dawn.. i totally forgot that once you joined the group.. you'll have to stick with the group for the day.. so prevent the germs from spreading..

At about 915.. my lil darling arrived.. tears and all.. crying pitfully for her mommy.. turns out that the centre gave a long weekend.. friday thru sunday.. so shirlene wasn't used to coming back to school.. it was so heart-breaking watching her cry and not being able to do anything about it.. i was stuck with the other group and couldn't go over to comfort her as much as i wanted.. all i could think of was going over to hug her.. cuddle her.. anything.. just to make her stop crying and smile again.. my heart nearly broke in two hearing her sobs..

She's not those kinda screaming kids.. she doesn't do those shrill screams.. demanding for her mommy or whatsoever.. all she does is cry not too loudly.. going "mommy mommy".. gasping for breath.. tears spilling down her cheeks.. it made her seem so vunerable.. i just felt this huge sense of longing to protect her.. sigh..

Now i know why mommy used to cry whenever she saw me cry.. the feeling of helplessness and seeing the little one spill tears of sorrow can really be heart-wrentching..

i'll try post up pics of my lil ones when i can get them.. den you'll understand why i'm so in love with them..




I'll miss you
Kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
Need you
Feed you
Even let you hold the remote control.


This is for you my cookie monster.. and yesh.. i'm definately more in love with you..
18 June 2005
Rainbow
Red and yellow
and pink and green,
purple and orange and blue.
I can sing a rainbow,
sing a rainbow
sing a rainbow too.

Listen with your eyes,
listen with your eyes,
and sing everything you see.
You can sing a rainbow,
sing a rainbow,
sing along with me.

Red and yellow
and pink and green,
purple and orange and blue.
I can sing a rainbow,
sing a rainbow,
sing along with you.


I saw a full rainbow this morning.. a real beauty i tell you..!